


Learning how to smile.

by youngjusticewriter



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alpha Hide, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fix-It, M/M, Nagachika Hideyoshi Is A Washuu, Omega Kaneki Ken | Sasaki Haise, not dub con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-16
Updated: 2018-10-09
Packaged: 2019-07-13 06:30:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,349
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16012220
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youngjusticewriter/pseuds/youngjusticewriter
Summary: Kaneki felt as his body was coming to a boil and not even his book or his worry on not being able to eat (perhaps people really should be carful of what they wish, maybe he was turning it a bug after all this time) could distract the feeling. And it was just a feeling. His nurse (the one from earlier who had told him not be a picky eater after trying a bite from the tray of hospital food) had checked his temperature a hour earlier and had told him that, no, there wasn't anything wrong with him.





	1. Chapter 1

Kaneki's thumb restlessly moved backwards and forwards across the worn surface of the book Hide had dropped off earlier that day so Kaneki could have something to read. 

Kaneki couldn't sleep, the light outside his closed hospital door and the footsteps fading in and out of his hearing helped with that, but it was his mind that truly that kept him up. Kaneki was restless and not even a book, one that was like an old friend because of how many a time Kaneki had read it, could occupy it. Kaneki wish it could so then he wouldn't feel such- well, Kaneki couldn't really feel the shame he should. 

Kaneki felt as his body was coming to a boil and not even his book or his worry on not being able to eat (perhaps people really should be carful of what they wish, maybe he was turning it a bug after all this time) could distract the feeling. And it was just a feeling. His nurse (the one from earlier who had told him not be a picky eater after trying a bite from the tray of hospital food) had checked his temperature a hour earlier and had told him that, no, there wasn't anything wrong with him. Yet here Kaneki was: sweaty back arched from the bed, one hand holding the book Hide (who must have sprayed too much cologne because Kaneki could smell him after all this time), and his other hand slipping beneath his butt because it couldn't slip underneath the long gown the hospital had provided for him. 

Kaneki's wrist passed the tied strings and continued further down despite how warm his cheeks were in shame. His fingers touched something sticky. Immediately Kaneki shot out his arm in surprise because what if it's blood only to slam his elbow into one of the two metal bars of the hospital bed. It took a second to get over the pain and when he did Kaneki squinted at his fingers. It didn't look like blood but none the less Kaneki brought his hand closer. 

He didn't need to sniff it to smell it. The liquid somehow smelled of ink, worn pages of a book, and well coffee grains. That and the cologne were enough for Kaneki's head to fall back because it's right (and good - so good). His hips rocked seeking friction (another pair of hips) only to meet air. No matter how synonyms that came to the front of Kaneki's mind for frustration not a single one of them would have been able to accurately convey the frustration he felt; his nails dug painfully into the worn spine of the book as Kaneki burned in both body and temper. 

(If only Hide was here instead of his overbearing cologne that seeped into his nails- Hide would help, Kaneki knew in absolute certainty despite not being in the state of mind to really think.) 

Kaneki's fingers hurridly found themselves back to his ass instead of his dick that strained (that burned like the rest of Kaneki) against the hospital gown. There was more that stuff time this time, Kaneki noted only to think that he'd been in too much shock to notice how much whatever this was was there. Kaneki might be lacking deft when it came to sex (Rize had been his first date and here he was in the hospital afterwards) but he knew how grind his fingers against something. 

Sounds of pleasure escaped Kaneki's dried lips but he payed it no mind despite a few hours earlier such a thing would have mortified him to death. Kaneki was burning too much to care - he needed, heneeded, heneeded, heneeded, henee- 

His mouth opened into a wide o as his two fingers slipped into the source of the heat and wetness. Whatever that liquid was some of it slid down his ass and onto the hospital bed as Kaneki mindlessly pleasured himself. It wasn't enough though; it'd would never be enough. No, that's wrong, a part of Kaneki thought as he brought his hips further into the cruel air before hurriedly adding the rest of his fingers into himself. Kaneki's mouth fell open as he tried to get his fingers just a bit further in him. The volume of the lewd noises that escaped from his mouth was growing but not enough so that Kaneki couldn't hear himself being fucked by his own fingers. His fingers were weren't long like Hide's so it wasn't enough for Kaneki to finish off. Oh if he had fingers like Hide - long, nimble things that Kaneki could just close his eyes and imagine in him except no, Kaneki didn't want his fingers like Hide's. He wanted Hide. 

With that realization Kaneki thoughtlessly voiced his best friend's name as he brutally slammed his fingers further into himself hoping for some release; it was a mantra, a reverence, an one worded pray for release (for forgiveness). 

It wasn't enough and because of that Kaneki, with tears in his eyes, screamed Hide's name.


	2. Chapter 2

There was a soft knock on the closed door that brought Kaneki out of his head. (Kaneki, despite having been awake for the last hour, hadn't touched his book after last night besides shoving it under the last pillow behind his head. Out of sight, out of mind had been his thoughts with blushing cheeks, but honestly Kaneki would be lying if he said it had worked. It probably didn't help that Kaneki had to discreetly clean himself and his sheets this morning by smuggling some wet paper towers offered in the hospital's bathroom to dry ones' hands off.) 

"You can come in," he told whoever was behind the door. The door opened to reveal a nurse holding a tray of food; it wasn't the same one as the one from yesterday. 

She smiled politely at him as she told him, "You look awful." 

Kaneki snorted at that. Not because awful could not begin to convey how Kaneki felt after last night (and, no, it wasn't because Kaneki was majoring in literature that he did feel that way), but because that was such a Hide thing. Smile at you and tell you look terrible. 

Kaneki gave the brunette a small smile despite how drained he felt. "I,uh, didn't sleep well."

Kaneki had just stated the obvious; he'd seen the dark bags under his eyes less than an hour ago in the mirror when he had to clean himself. But, to be honest, Kaneki was too burnt out to really care. He noticed what an idiot he was by stating it, but truly caring (feeling ashamed) was currently beyond him. 

The nurses' brown eyes sobered at his words, her smile now gone from her young face. 

"Yumi told me you were having trouble eating yesterday so I grabbed some salt packets. It'll help with the bitterness." There was a pause before she spoke again. "I may work here, but that doesn't mean I have to condone our food," the nurse told him with a quick, mischievous wink as she gave him the tray where there were indeed packets of salt on it. 

"Thank you," Kaneki told her. After yesterday he wasn't really eager to eat, but the nurse had been thoughtful, and mother had taught Kaneki to always be appreciative to other's efforts toward him. That and the food actually smelt good even with the queasy thought of eating it. Kaneki could almost taste copper in the air despite there not being any hamburgers in front of him (sadly). Maybe Hide and him could visit Big Girl after Kaneki was released from the hospital, Kaneki thought as he broke apart the chopsticks after having opened and dumped everyone of the salt packets. 

Kaneki couldn't see her, not even in the corner of his left eye, but he felt the nurse beaming at him as he ate. It wasn't too bad - still some bitterness and Kaneki had to drink some water to help get it down, but it wasn't as bad as yesterday. 

"I'm glad you're able to eat," the nurse told him. "Yumi was right. You need to eat if you want to feel better." 

Somehow Kaneki doubted that food could help what happened to him last night, but he didn't voice that. Kaneki just kept hurriedly eating his meal that the nurse had so graciously thought of bringing salt with to help the bitterness. Now that Kaneki was thinking about it didn't Hide put salt in his coffee when the creamer didn't help the bitterness? 

Yeah he did actually. 

Once Kaneki finished his food (in record time apparently, "You know I never seen one of my patients eat that quickly - you really had to be hungry.") the nurse left with the tray. 

Which was great because a few minutes after her departure Kaneki had to go to the bathroom to puke his food up (it tasted worse coming up than it had going down), but that also left him alone with nothing but his thoughts and the book he had shoved out of sight in embarrassment. How was he ever going to read it again? Kaneki could buy a new copy, but it would still be the book he had masturbated at with thoughts of his best friend on his mind. 

Kaneki closed his eyes and while he couldn't see the hospital bustling about he heard it. He hadn't been thankfully of the building's loudness last night, but he was now. It was something for him to be distracted at instead of allowing his thoughts - his utter shame - to weigh down on him like a pile of bricks or a backpack of every single one of his second hand college books. A newsreporter rapidly talked about the morality and organ transplants without consent down the hall, sneakers, squeaky against the floor, neared his door, and a nurse a few doors ahead was berating an elder patient for just now coming to the hospital for a bite from a s- the rap against his opened door brought Kaneki out of easedropping. 

Kaneki opened his eyes to see a familiar grin. Despite it's resemblance to the Cheshire Cat's Kaneki still was appreciative of the sight - of Hide being here. 

"Yo, Kaneki you look like the embodiment of the last day of college," Hide told him as he closed the door behind him with a soft click. 

Kaneki snorted at that. "That's the second time today someone has told me I look terrible." 

An eyebrow was raised at his words as Hide dragged the chair in the corner next to the bed. It scrapped against the floor and Kaneki winced at the loud, irritating sound. "Oh? I hope it was a doctor not a cute nurse." 

"Considering a date with a cute girl got me here in the first place I admittedly don't care that the nurse was cute." 

Hide's cologne filled Kaneki's noise as he leaned forward (the smell a softly laid noose around Kaneki's neck). "Well my idea of inviting you to Big Girl after you were released just got painfully shot down." 

Kaneki blushed darkly at Hide's words. "I-I like their burgers not the waitresses chests!" Kaneki managed to stutter out despite how embarrassed he was. 

The eyebrow was raised further, nearly touching Hide's dirty blonde hair now, as Hide's eyes flickered to Kaneki and the bottom of his face. Hide tilted his head to the side, his neck barred for Kaneki. "Okay, I believe you it's just what friend would I be if I didn't tease you?" 

Kaneki, in utter shame, had to shift in the bed at both the sight and words. There was that feeling again - an embarrassing wetness at his ass and a burning sensation in him. It was more pleasant this time than last night. (Maybe because it had only begun to start?) Hide's head lolled further to the side, his neck looked nice without those bulky orange headphones of his, Kaneki thought as he stared at it. His embarrassment having been dismissed instantly at the distraction before him; it was rare sight to see Hide without them so Kaneki didn't feel ashamed at the blatant rudeness. (The noose was tightening around his throat and Kaneki couldn't find himself to care.) 

Despite having the appearance of a lazed about cat, Hide narrowed his eyes at Kaneki. "Kaneki are you feeling alright?" His friend asked, his eyebrow had dropped but now it was knitted together with the other one. 

Kaneki leaned his head to the side of his pillow. "A fever," Kaneki mumbled out as he  
absently scratched his chin. "I think I have one coming on."

Hide got out of his chair, his sneakers squeaked against the floor as he raised a warm palm against Kaneki's head. He shifted as he leaned against the feeling of the bed. 

"Yeah, you feel like you got one," Hide told Kaneki as he swiped a piece of hair previously stuck on Kaneki's face behind his ear with his thumb. His brown eyes softened as he looked down on Kaneki. 

"Want me to stay?" He offered as his fingers curved into Kaneki's bared throat. "Your aunt hasn't even visited despite the whole thing being on the news," Hide admitted in a soft voice and there was anger in his dark brown eyes at the mention of her. Never mind he was the one to bring up her failings to protect Kaneki. 

"So I could stay if you want or-" he began to remove his hand only for Kaneki to not grab onto it, but pull it closer. No, tug Hide to him would be more accurate. 

Hide laughed as he was pushed further into the hospital bed's reeling. He wiggled his eyebrows at Kaneki. "Never too early for a slumber party huh 'Neki?" He teased Kaneki, but he didn't refuse or pull back from Kaneki's tight hold. Hide, without another word, simply climbed into the hospital bed with his scrawny best friend. 

(And Kaneki was choking on breathe as the noose was the only thing holding him up.)

**Author's Note:**

> I have no shame in admitting I wouldn't mind your thoughts because I don't write smut that often.


End file.
